I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
