i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
