We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
