I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
