he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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