today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
