Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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