New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
