I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
