Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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