Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
