I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
