dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
