The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
