you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
