but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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