Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
