i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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