Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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