ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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