my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
