if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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