They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
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She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
