College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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