He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
