you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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