Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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