I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I FOUND THE LEGS
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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