I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
