I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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