im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
