I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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