My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
