last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
