i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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