Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
