Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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