Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
