she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize