i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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