The beer is more important than you right now.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
