I just made out with a guy for $7.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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