Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
