O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
