Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
