HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
