Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
