So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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