butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
