I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
