JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
