That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
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