She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize