he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
