He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
