thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm drive I can fine osifer
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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