What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
