Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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