Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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