Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
