So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
