I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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