Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
