Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
