It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i believe in u and ur pee
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
