Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
