i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
