friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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